


Give 'Em The Old Razzle Dazzle

by Thelifeofafandom



Category: Psych
Genre: Although there's Gustiet the Shassie is more important, Case Fic, Chicago specifically, Multi, Musical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-06 04:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1843612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thelifeofafandom/pseuds/Thelifeofafandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn gets tickets to Chicago (the musical) and shares. Juliet also suspects that there's a little more to Shawn and Lassiter's relationship than meets the eye, but she's too engrossed in her fanfiction to care that much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is just the prologue, so there's no real action yet.  
> I got inspired to write this because I was listening to the Chicago soundtrack, and I realized that "Give 'Em The Old Razzle Dazzle" is basically Shawn's theme song.  
> Also there are spoilers for the Battlestar Galactica reboot.

Juliet had seen some shit since she transferred to the SBPD.  
  
Most people thought she was young and naive, not many took her seriously, but she was observant as hell.  
  
Juliet had seen a guy gutted by a butter knife.  
  
Juliet had seen Woody cut off and try to sell a foot on the black market (although she hadn't said anything to the Chief, she _had_ made him put the foot back).  
  
And for god's sake she had seen sexual tension enough to fell a bull.  
  
Nearly everyday Shawn came into the station and _ground_ on Lassiter. He would grope and feel and prance around, running his hands everywhere on the detective, and Lassiter did nothing. He protested, he growled, but he didn't do anything serious. Juliet sometimes entertained the thought that her seeing this could be due to the fact that she may or may not be on the fifteenth chapter on her Spirk fanfiction: the stoic and logical paired with the jovial and silly. However, when Shawn ran in and straddled Lassiter, throwing his head back and gripping his shoulders, all doubt was banished from her mind.  
  
"What the hell, Spencer?" Lassiter growled.  
  
"Oh! George!" Shawn moved himself down on Lassiter's crotch and let out a range of loud and sexual noises before nimbly jumping off, attracting everyone's attention. Juliet noticed that Lassiter shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and she pursed her lips to keep in a grin. "The spirits have conveyed to me that Mrs. Morrison was having an affair with George Connell, and he murdered her because she was going to cut it off to be a loyal wife." He put his hand to his temple and raised his eyebrows. "Oh! Plot twist! Mr. Morrison was also having an affair! Also with George Conell! He was NOT as good of a spouse as his wife, and helped George murder her so that he could get her money and continue his hot man-love with George Conell."  
  
Lassiter, although surprised and slightly doubtful, jumped up. "Alright people! Let's go!" Lassiter pulled his jacket on and scrambled out of the SBPD along with McNab and a few other officers. Shawn started toward the door with Gus, but Gus tugged his sleeve before they could exit. From Juliet's vantage point she saw, but didn't hear, them do that quick, quiet whispering that always sounded like a bee's buzzing.  
  
"Shawn!" Gus grabbed him and spun him around.  
  
"C'mon Gus! We gotta go! I want to see Lassiter's face when he catches two guys banging!" Shawn checked his watch. It was five, which meant that George and Morrison were getting their freak on, according to their regular schedule.  
  
Gus snorted. "Dude you promised."  
  
"Promised what?" Shawn caught Gus's quick glance at Juliet's desk. "Not right now!"  
  
"Shawn you promised."  
  
"But--"  
  
"Shawn--"  
  
"Dude--"  
  
This sort of dialogue went on for a few seconds, at the end of which Shawn threw up his hands and shook his head. "Fine," he hissed. The two meandered over to Juliet's desk, with Shawn taking faltering steps, and Gus let out a smile and thumbed at the side of his nose.  
  
"I swear if you use the Pluto thing--"  
  
Gus snorted again. "C'mon son." He thumbed his nose as they approached. He casually placed his hand on the desk and gave a wide, almost creepy, smile. "Hello, Juliet."  
  
Juliet smiled and raised her eyebrows. "Hey, Gus."  
  
"Juliet, do you like... Musicals?" Gus took out two tickets.  
  
Juliet lit up and clapped her hands, possibly giving out a little squeal. "I _love_ musicals!"  
  
"How would you like to see _Chicago_?" Gus handed her one of the tickets. "Just you and me." Shawn coughed a little and Gus glared at him. "Also Shawn and whatever date he decides to bring." Juliet raised her eyebrow questioningly.  
  
"I got the tickets. I helped a girl find her stalker, and she got me four tickets to a local showing of _Chicago_."  
  
"Well, I'd love to go with you Gus!" Juliet beamed.  
  
"Great! It's this Saturday. I'll pick you up at..." He checked the ticket and mumbled to himself. "I'll pick you up at 5. The movie starts at six, and I was wondering if we could get dinner afterwards?"  
  
Juliet gasped in mock surprise. "Why, Gus! It seems as if you're asking me out on a date!" She leaned forward.  
  
"It seems that I am." Shawn gagged in the background as Juliet and Gus giggled.  
  
Just then, McNab and Dobson burst in with a man in his late 20's or early 30's. He was tall, tan, blonde, and mostly naked. This was Morrison, and as he was pushed through the station toward the holding cells, all eyes (although mostly female) were on him, even though he was a murderer.  
  
"Spencer!" Lassiter shouted from the entrance to the police department. As far away from him as he could, he held an attractive man, with a shock of black hair and dark brown eyes. What made it better (at least to Juliet) was that the only clothes he was wearing were boxers. "We are going to talk about this--" he jabbed at George "later." He must've figured out that Shawn knew what George and Morrison were doing. Shawn just hoped that the two hadn't noticed Shawn in the department, and especially hadn't told Lassiter that Shawn had participated in a threesome with them as a way to gain there trust. It had gotten him what he wanted, but he couldn't have Lasssiter (or Gus for that matter) knowing about it. As they walked past, Shawn and Juliet were both clearly enthralled with the same thing, although Shawn was obviously trying to be discreet. But Juliet was a detective, and she could focus on two things at once.  
  
"Shawn!" She exclaimed. "Were you checking him out?"  
  
"What?" Shawn laughed. "Him? _No_. Not _me_. I mean he's a murderer! He _killed_ his girlfriend!"  
  
"You're enunciating," Gus whispered.  
  
"Gus! Please, I was not checking out a _dude_." Shawn laughed and discreetly stomped on Gus's foot. "Even if that dude is carved like a statue by Michelangelo, like damn." He saw Juliet's face twist into a grin. "No homo."  
  
"Shawn, it's okay if you're heteroflexible." She patted his hand.  
  
Gus snorted. "It's a little more than _that_." His mind wandered back to high school. Shawn joining the wrestling team, much to the delight of his father. However, it wasn't exactly to please his father that he did it. Shawn had let Gus in on a little secret: 80% of the wrestling team was gay or bisexual, and "after school practices" weren't exactly for wrestling. Gus had immediately installed the rule that if Shawn was participating in any type of orgy, male or otherwise, he didn't want to hear about it.  
  
"Gus!" Shawn shouted. "I thought you were on my side." He turned toward Juliet. "I am straight. 100% heterosexual."  
  
Gus's cough sounded suspiciously like "50%."  
  
Shawn looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Ok, look." He leaned in closer to Juliet and dropped his voice to a whisper. "I may be gayer than Kirk--" he thought a little bit. "Ok I'm about as straight as the Captain, and just as gay as him. And judging by the fact that you're 'Spirker4ever' on ao3, you agree that he's bisexual." Juliet could tell that her cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, and she opened her mouth to pose the question. "I'm psychic," Shawn cut her off. "Although writing fanfiction during work? On your work computer? Where _I_ of all people can see it?" Shawn grinned, glad to have regained the upper hand on the awkward situation. Juliet gaped like a fish, and Shawn patted her desk. "You better finish chapter 15 soon. I'm on the edge of my seat trying to figure out whether or not Spock will break the curse, or if he'll succumb and have sex with the Captain." Shawn winked, grabbed Gus (who barely had time to place the ticket on her desk and yell "five o'clock"), and scrambled away.  
  
"Dude!" Gus quietly shouted at Shawn.  
  
"You can't 'dude' me!" Shawn turned on Gus angrily. "I can't believe you outed me to Jules!"  
  
"You were ogling that dude's ass! Who's a murderer, by the way." Gus glared at him. Shawn shrugged, his anger at Gus diminished. It _was_ Jules. He was still peeved, so he did need to think of some sort of revenge. "It's not like I'd out you to _Lassiter_. He'd make fun of you for forever, in addition to telling the Chief."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Shawn murmured. "Anyway, why'd you need me there? You were all smooth."  
  
"I almost panicked halfway through. Also I needed you to stomp on my foot in case I said something stupid. Which I didn't." He shrugged. Shawn began to open the door to the Blueberry, but he was suddenly knocked over by a large, lanky mess of limbs. It wasn't exactly knocked over either, it was more like thrown and pinned against the Blueberry.  
  
"Spencer," Lassiter growled. "You knew what we were going to walk into didn't you?"  
  
Shawn smirked. "No! I'm a psychic, but I didn't know _that_! And even if I did, it's not like you minded." Shawn winked, and the arm pressing against his neck slowly released.  
  
"Go fuck yourself, Spencer."  
  
"Well it takes two to do that doesn't it?" Shawn giggled as Lassiter's walk away from the car turned into a sprint. He looked over at Gus who just rolled his eyes and got into the Blueberry.  
  
Meanwhile, back in the police department, Juliet had gotten over her initial surprise at Shawn not only knowing about her fanfictions (oh god had he read her smut? Best not think about that) but also reading at least one of them. Now, she was mulling over his sexuality. She was surprised, yes, considering that Shawn's sexual exploits (even with the single women _inside_ the police department) had reached even her ears. On the other hand, no one who knew _Grease_ and _Footloose_ _that_ well could be straight. Now that she knew that, she thought over all of Shawn's sexual innuendos and actions with Lassiter. He never did that to anyone else; not to Gus, not to her, not to anyone. And now, knowing he was 'as straight as Captain Kirk' that could mean that his sexual jokes were not all humorous. She saw Lassiter run out of the station shouting "Spencer!" Maybe not. With that thought, she turned back to her computer, and, making sure no one was looking, opened her fanfiction. She did have fans to cater to, after all.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet manages to set up Shawn and Lassiter without telling either of them who their date is. However, the night of watching Chicago (and Lassiter getting mad because why does everyone think he's gay?) takes a dark turn when a body shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, we will investigate this murder in the next chapter.

**CHAPTER** **1**

  
  


It was already Friday, and Shawn still couldn’t find a date. It was actually getting sort of ridiculous, and he wouldn’t go back into the police department until Morrison and George were moved to the actual jail, so all the cops were out. Although they were arrested on Tuesday, they still hadn’t been moved because Lassiter was still trying to get a confession. All evidence pointed to them, but they refused to confess.

 

Finally, itching to know what was going on in the station, he called Gus. The man had been hanging around at the police department more since he and Juliet had promoted themselves to official dating status. “Gus,” he whined into the phone.

 

“Whaddya want Shawn?”

 

“Any information? Any at all? What’s going on?”

 

“Why don’t you just come down here?” Gus was actually curious. Normally Shawn was all over the police station like syrup on pancakes, but he had steadfastly refused to step foot in the building.

 

Shawn sighed. On one hand, lying to Gus was hard. Well, it wasn’t, normally, but keeping such a serious lie from him felt wrong. But on the other hand he had slept with two murderers, although it was before he knew they were murderers, and was just using them for information.

 

“Shawn!”

 

The pseudo psychic sighed. “I… May have… Slept with George and Morrison.”

 

On the other end, Gus spluttered. He was obviously searching for an answer, but all that was coming out was snippets of  “ah,” “Shawn,” and various curses. Finally, Gus sighed and Shawn could hear the crease in his friend’s forehead. “Together or separately?”

 

“Both. Well, it was once but there were multiple rounds and all three of us were in the room for each of them, just that sometimes one of us would sit out--”

 

“Shawn. No sex life details.”

 

“Right.”

 

“Before or after you knew they were murderers?”

 

Shawn bit his lip. “Beeeefore,” he said hesitantly.

 

“Are you lying?”

 

“No. I suspected that they were murderers and I was using them to get more information.”

 

“Then tell Lassie!” Gus burst out.

 

“Tell me what?” Lassiter perked up from his desk. “Does this have something to do with the Connell-Morrison case?” He ran over to Gus who just waved the frustrated detective away.

 

Shawn snorted. “And have him know I’m queer? Yeah, no.” He shook his head. “No, they’re being moved to the jail tonight, so by Monday I’ll be able to be my usual, feisty self, prancing around the SBPD.” Lassiter tried to edge closer to Gus to hear what was going on, only to be pushed away very quickly. “Speaking of tonight, I don’t have a date.”

 

“Yeah while why don’t you ask -- Lassiter!” Gus swatted at the detective again.

 

“Guster, if you have information about the Connell-Morrison case I better hear about it.”

 

Gus cupped the eerily silent cell phone. “Don’t worry, you will. Now can I please have a conversation with Shawn? Thank you.”

 

Shawn’s mouth hang open. “Why do you think I’d want to ask Lassiter? What, do you think I have a thing for him?”

 

“What? No! That’s ridiculous.” Gus laughed. “Lassiter was just trying to listen in to our conversation. Anyway, I can ask my girlfriend--” He grinned at Juliet “if she knows someone to set you up with.”

 

“Okay, that’s a good idea!” Shawn collapsed on the couch of the Psych office and turned on the Xbox, responsibility of finding a date dissipated. “It’ll probably be a blind date, since I don’t think I know anyone that knows Jules, and I trust her. Also ask her if she knows any twins.”

 

“Shawn I’m hanging up.”

 

“Bye!” Shawn drawled out the last vowel and shut the phone, preparing himself to play some GTA.

 

Gus walked over to Juliet. “Are you busy, sweetie?”  

 

“Nope!” She closed the fanfiction she had been working on quickly.

 

“Well, Shawn doesn’t have a date for tomorrow, and he was wondering if you know anyone he could take to the theatre?”

 

Juliet was on the verge of saying no, but her eyes slid over to Lassiter, who was making one of the rookies cry. It had almost become an initiation: if Lassiter didn’t make you cry, you weren’t an officer yet. “You know, I think I have just the guy. Tell Shawn that he’s attractive and tall, but I won’t tell him anything else.”

 

Gus grinned. “Thanks!” He kissed his girlfriend’s forehead.

 

“O’Hara!” Lassiter shouted from across the room. He didn’t like Gus showing public displays of affection for his partner. “Get back to work.”

 

“Yessir!” Juliet called back and winked at Gus. “You know,” she whispered, “I probably won’t be able to talk to you for the rest of the day, and Lassiter is on the verge of shooting you, so you should go.”

 

Gus glanced at Lassiter who was ominously polishing his guns, having moved on from the rookie, now locked in the bathroom. “I think you’re right. See you tomorrow.” Gus left, and Juliet began her plan.

 

“Hey, Carlton. C’m’ere.” She waved him over.

 

“What? Is this important?” He growled.

 

“Well, no. I was just wondering if you like musicals?”

 

Lassiter’s eyes flew open. He thought about Wicked and Chicago, his two favorites. But saying that he like musicals of all things would make him seem like a pansy. But this was his partner, he could tell her anything. And she might be thinking about taking him to a musical, and they are fucking expensive. “Yeah. They’re ok. Why do you ask?”

 

“You’re not dating anyone, right?”

 

Lassiter thought glumly about his nights watching reruns of Cops and CSI and his dinners of frozen Wal-Mart foods and take out. “No.”

 

Juliet beamed. “Well, Gus’s friends had four tickets to Chicago, so they gave two to Gus and me, but they can’t find a date.”

 

Lassiter thought about it. “What’s their name?”

 

Juliet put a finger to her lips. “If you wanna watch Chicago, be at the theatre at 5:45. I’m not telling you who your date’s gonna be.”

 

“Are they pretty?”

 

“You’ll find your date very attractive.” She waggled her eyebrows. “Here’s the address.” She wrote it down.

 

“Thanks O’Hara!” Lassiter sounded pleasantly surprised. “This is actually really nice of you!”

 

She laughed. “Yeah, yeah I am.”

 

Juliet smiled deviously at the grin plastered on Lassiter's face. In high school and college she was known as The Matchmaker, and she’d be damned if she couldn't keep up her winning streak. Some people got married because of her. She called Shawn to tell him the good news.

 

When Shawn heard his phone ring (it was "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" for Juliet) he pounced on it.

 

"Shawn I--"

 

"Jules did you get me a date?" Shawn cut her off. "Gus told me the person you had in mind was tall and handsome."

 

"Well," she looked over at the Head Detective, "I guess he is! Gus doesn't know him, so."

 

"What's his name?"

 

"It's a blind date, so I won't even tell you that. Don't worry, you'll hit it off." When she said that she really hoped that they didn't literally hit it off. If they got into a fistfight it would probably put a damper on the evening. Juliet thought to all the times that Lassiter had put her on a really boring case and given himself the really exciting one, to all the times that he underestimated her and she just smiled. Yes, even if her intuition was wrong, that Lassiter actually didn't have a huge hard-on for Shawn, then it would be worth it just to mess with him.

 

Juliet cackled. She may be young and cute, but she sure as hell was sneaky.

 

Saturday evening rolled around, and Shawn and Gus were a pile of nerves. Contrary to Shawn's normally overconfident snarky attitude, the time before a date was his hell. Gus was just as bad, although he dressed better than Shawn. He actually wore a suit with a tie. Shawn wore a black button-up shirt with a blue tie and slacks. The two were reassuring each other that "don't worry you look fine" and fretting about how their dates were going to go. Gus, at least, knew who his date was going to be. Shawn had created for himself a daunting, perfect figure. When they picked up Juliet ("let me go with you" "take your motorcycle!" "I'll sit in the back!"), though, Shawn slipped back into his snarky self.

 

"Ok, kiddos, I want you back before 11 o'clock, and no hanky panky," Shawn said in an old-man accent.

 

Gus snorted. "Don't be Col. Tigh from the Battlestar Galactica reboot."

 

Shawn looked at him, offended. "Ok, first off, that's my thing. Second off, Tigh would never say 'kiddos' or 'hanky panky.'"

 

"That's probably true." Juliet nodded, surprising the two men. "He'd probably also never have kids to say this to, especially considering his wife. Also he would be a terrible father. He's an alcoholic and a cylon."

 

Gus and Shawn were speechless for a few moments. "You watch Battlestar Galactica?" They shouted in unison.

 

"Uh, yeah." Juliet laughed. "Spirker4ever is only my Spirk account."

 

"No!" Shawn gasped. The rest of the car ride was spent talking about Battlestar Galactica, sometimes delving into Star Trek, until they finally arrived.

 

"Oh, Shawn, I told your date to come at 5:45." She glanced at her watch. "So he's probably here. Let's go." She and Gus walked arm in arm, making Shawn feel somewhat of a third wheel. Gus had made him pinky promise to not disrupt their "alone time," the car ride excluded, so he ran ahead.

 

"Lassie-fras!" Shawn hid his surprise at seeing the lanky detective, all dressed up and obviously waiting for someone. "Got a date?"

 

Lassiter sneered at him. "Actually, I do."

 

Shawn looked around. "She showed you up, huh?"

 

"No.” Although he had started to wonder a little bit. “Anyway, why're you here? Isn't this a little too fancy for you?"

 

Shawn snorted. "Well, I have a date too. I just don't know where he -- she is. And I don't know what they actually look like either, because Jules set me up with them and she refused to tell me who it is."

 

Lassiter furrowed his brow. "Hey me too!"

 

Shawn was just as baffled as Lassiter, but then he remembered her words. "Tall and attractive." Well, Lassiter was certainly tall and attractive (not that Shawn would actually admit that Lassiter was handsome). Shawn groaned and a look of realization dawned on Lassiter's face as well.

 

"Shawn! Carlton! You've met your dates!" She grinned and held in a guffaw, as did Gus who had been clued in on the situation moments before.

 

"Jules," he whined. Not that he wasn't a little bit amused and slightly proud of her pranking skills.

 

"O'hara," Lassiter growled. "This is my Saturday night."

 

"Hey, you like musicals! This is your favorite musical! It's not a waste."

 

Lassiter growled again, but she was right. "Wait.  You don't think I'm gay, do you? 'Cause I'm not. Gay that is." Lassiter internally winced. His less than professional fantasies about a certain fake psychic were very contradictory to that. "Even if I was gay, I definitely would not date Spencer of all people." He thought back to the case with Drimmer, where he said that he and Shawn were "ex-lovers." Did he look like someone that was gay?

 

"Oh, c'mon!" Shawn grinned mischievously and sidled up to him. "You know you want some o' dis!"

 

Lassiter shoved him off. "Stay away from me Spencer. I still have a gun." He opened his jacket to show the glint of his beretta.

 

"Guys, c'mon." Gus lead them to their seats. They were actually quite good: in the centre of the third row of the theatre. The seats were plush, like in a movie theatre's, and the hall had cathedral-like ceilings to counter the crowded hustle and bustle below. Gus and Juliet quickly claimed two seats next to each other, knowing that Lassiter would try to separate them to get away from Shawn and because his distrust of Gus's motivations toward his partner. Their quick thinking (and Lassiter's preoccupation with trying to keep Shawn as far away from him as possible) forced Lassiter and his "date" to sit next to each other. As Velma Kelly took the stage and the music began playing (a live band in a pit in front of the stage took care of that) the lights dimmed and Gus and Juliet stopped their whispering.

 

The play was great, all the actors were loud and followed their cues, that is until Billy Flynn's first appearance. There was silence. And the actors froze in confusion. Then repeated the cue. Suddenly, from the back, someone (Shawn recognized her to be Matron "Mama" Morton) ran out, tears staining her face.

 

"He's dead!" She shouted. The audience clapped, thinking it was a weird twist on Chicago, but they must know what they were doing.

 

"Shawn," Lassiter muttered. "This isn't how it's supposed to go."

 

"I know," Shawn replied.

  
"No!" The actress choked out. "Charles Lawernson! He's dead!"


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The suspects are narrowed down, and Lassiter may or may not have a side job as a prostitute.  
> (He doesn't)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to upload this! I was on vacation, and the internet was crappy, so I couldn't upload anything!

Lassiter jumped up, one hand on his gun, one on his badge. "SBPD!" He shouted over the pandemonium. His cry did nothing to the people clambering over each other and yelling.

 

"People!" Juliet's deep, resonating yell startled everyone, including her boyfriend, Shawn, and Lassiter. The theatre went silent, some people frozen halfway to a standing position. "Everyone remain calm!" She continued. "Please stay in your seats. I'm detective O'Hara, and this is head detective Lassiter. We will sort this out, but stay in your seats and do not panic."

 

"God, that was really hot," Shawn muttered.

 

"I know," Gus replied.

 

"Thank you O'Hara." Lassiter stepped over the people in the row, with Shawn close behind.

 

"Charles Lawrenson is the guy playing Billy Flynn," he whispered.

 

"I know, Spencer. Get back to your seat."

 

"No way! We're in on this."

 

Lassiter groaned. Of course Gus would be coming along too.

 

The actress that had delivered the news ran up to the detective. Upon closer inspection, this wasn't an actrress but an actor. He was wearing a wig and makeup, and his dress cleaverly added cleavage, but he was a man nonetheless.

 

"Can you tell us exactly what happened?" Juliet put her arm around the distraught man.

 

"Well, my name's Joe. Joe Turner. And I was in the back, l-looking for Charles because I realized he hadn't taken his cue. I had seen him enter the dressing room a little bit before to grab his fedora, a-and, a-and--" he burst into tears again, leaning against Juliet. "That was the last time I saw him!" He wailed.

 

"Let's go look at the body." Lassiter sighed. Normally he was all up for investigating murders on his off time, but he had just wanted to watch Chicago with his friends. Surprising himself, he wondered when he started thinking about his partner, Spencer, and Guster as friends.

 

"It's okay sir." Juliet patted him. "We'll get this sorted out."

 

"I'm sorry, ma'am." He sniffed and pulled back. "It's just that Charles was my bo--best friend."

 

"Can you control the audience, for now?"

 

"We can try." He thumbed at the actors on stage, many of them trying to convince Lassiter to let them see the body. Juliet nodded and smiled, and ran over to Lassiter.

 

"Where're Shawn and Gus?" She looked around.

 

"They're right here--" Lassiter looked over his shoulder. "Fuck! I told them to stay right here!"

 

Juliet sighed. "I'll go get them. They're probably at the scene already."

 

Juliet was right, but not exactly. Shawn and Gus had approached the dressing room, only to find it locked.

 

"Buddy, can you pick it?" Shawn elbowed his friend, who began to take a bobby pin out of his pocket.

 

"I'm just a regular Boy Scout," Gus declared proudly and got on his knees.

 

"Woah, woah, woah, hold it!" Juliet shouted and yanked Gus back from the door by his collar. "You weren't about to pick the lock, were you?"

 

Gus wilted under his girlfriend's glare. "No, ma'am." She smiled and patted him on the back. Shawn, meanwhile, was staring at the lock. There was no sign of forced entry, no scratches on the lock that would indicate that the lock was picked. It also wouldn't make sense for Joe to lock the door after heran to the stage, so that could only mean one thing.

 

"I'm having a vision!" Shawn shouted and his hand flew to his temple. Just at that moment, Lassiter, three women (one of which was dressed as a man, although she had obviously taken the binder off), and two men walked in.

 

"Oh great," Lassiter muttered.

 

"Whaddya mean, you're havin' a vision?" One of the women asked. She was tall and wiry, with long and flowing brown hair, with lipstick as red as the blood of her enemies, and her eyes were brown, and, at the moment, questioning. Shawn recognized her as Velma Kelly, or, at least, the actress for her.

 

"He's psychic." Gus nodded at Shawn who was convulsing on the floor. "We run a psychic detective agency. Here's our card." Gus handed out business cards that he kept in his pocket at all times, because Shawn had a penchant of attracting trouble.

 

Shawn gave out a loud gasp and jumped up. "The ghost of Marilyn Monroe is speaking to me!" His arm shuddered and it jumped to the door knob and rattled it. "She says that this door locks automatically when it's closed! Is this true?"

 

Another woman nodded. She was shorter and stockier than the Velma Kelly woman, and her blue eyes were red rimmed from crying. She was leaning heavily on the Velma Kelly woman. She looked a little like Marilyn Monroe (which was what prompted Shawn to call upon her ghost), with her short blonde hair being in the same style. "Yeah. The only people who have the keys are us." She thumbed at all the people standing in the room.

 

"Except me. Amy Smith." The woman dressed as a man raised her hand. "It's a pretty stupid door, but Harry here--" she gestured to the short, clean-shaven man standing next to her "didn't have a key, and he's the director. So I gave 'im my key. I felt like the director needed it more than me. So while I was waiting for my key to be made, I just had Margaret or Joanna get me in."

 

"Thank you!" Shawn smiled at her and kissed her hand. Lassiter sighed and folded his arms. He wasn't jealous, he refused to be, especially at a crime scene of all places. "Please, let me in now, Margaret. Or Joanna. Or Joe. Or Harry."

 

The tall, brown-haired woman stepped forward. "Joanna Lee." She stuck out her hand and shook vigorously before unlocking the door.

 

"Ok, I know everyone wants to see the body, but please, stay back and do not, whatever you do, enter the room." Juliet spread her arms in front of the door and pushed them back. Amy, however, had gotten a glimpse of the blood on the floor and turned green.

 

"I'm sorry, I hafta, I hafta..." She turned and ran from the backstage. Gus nodded sympathetically, and actively made sure not to go into the room.

 

"C'mon, Spencer. Since you're here you might as well..." Lassiter sighed. "'Have a vision.'" Shawn grinned and bounced into the room. The man on the floor had a gun shot in his chest that seemed to have been slightly torn open by something. Shawn grabbed his chest and began gurgling.

 

"What is it, Shawn?" Juliet grabbed him before he fell over.

 

"Charles is trying to talk to me, but there's something in his chest."

 

"Spencer, we can't screw with the body until forensics comes."

 

"C'mon Lassie-fras," Shawn whined. "I can't have a vision until you remove whatever's in his chest."

 

"Then wait here. Forensics will be here in a few minutes. Just try to be as quiet as you can," Lassiter growled.

 

Shawn stayed quiet for a grand total of 90 seconds. "All the actors out there are queer, B-T-dubs." Shawn pursed his lips. "Never saying that again."

 

"What?" Juliet and Lassiter exclaimed.

 

"Yup! Amy's got a mega gooey crush on Joanna aka Velma Kelly, which would be okay, since Jo's a lesbian, but Jo and Margaret are lovers in the night time. And also the day time. Margaret plays Roxie. But she's bisexual, not lesbian." He had seen Margaret eye himself and Lassiter in a way that was not platonic, so that could also mean she was unfaithful, but Shawn didn't want to bring it up.

 

"What about Joe and Harry?" Juliet asked.

 

"Joe's gay -- dating Charles, actually -- and Harry's trans." He could tell by Harry's figure, which was obviously petite for a man, and he saw the binder that meant he hadn't gotten a sex change yet, but the shaving nicks and deep voice meant he was taking testosterone.

 

"Great. We have the Village People running around out there," Lassiter sighed.

 

"So, Lassiter, ever slept with a dude?" Shawn dead panned and Juliet giggled.

 

"What?" Lassiter spluttered and turned red. "Why-- what--"

 

"Well, since I can't have a vision because you won't take whatever's in there out of his chest, I decided to make conversation. And since we were talking about queers..."

 

"Even if I had a side job as a male prostitute, it wouldn't be your business," Lassiter retorted.

 

Shawn smirked. "Do you Lassie?" Lassiter remembered what his therapist told him. Deep breath in, deep breath out. At that moment, the forensics team came in, and Lassiter quickly asked them to remove whatever was in the chest.

 

"Oh my god." Juliet's hand flew to her mouth. Someone had shoved a condom packet into the gunshot wound, and, in the process, mangled the wound enough so that they couldn't identify what the murder weapon was.

 

"So we're looking for a jilted lover?" Lassiter asked.

 

"Seems like it." Shawn shrugged. "And it has to be someone with a key to the room, so it could be Joe. Or Harry. Or maybe he was bi and it could be anyone." He pursed his lips. He probably was bi if his suspicions about Margaret were correct.

 

Juliet rolled her eyes. "Good job at narrowing the suspects."

 

"Do you have anymore helpful insights, Spencer?" Lassiter quirked an eyebrow.

 

"Do you have a side job as a male prostitute?" Shawn retorted.

 

"Get out of here." Shawn shrugged and slipped out of the room. Margaret, Joanna, Harry, and Joe were still hanging around, all with red-rimmed eyes.

 

"Amy just called," Harry choked out. "She said that she can't play the part of Amos anymore. She can't bear the thought of continuing to play."

 

"Well, the show must go on," Joanna sighed. "But who are we gonna get to play 'em? We don't have any understudies."

 

Shawn bit his lip. "Lassiter is gonna kill me," he thought, and remembered his brief stint as Chad, and the fact that when he was younger he memorized the entire script for Chicago after watching it dozens of times.

 

"I can play Billy!" He jumped into the conversation. "I can sing, I can act--"

 

"You're Shawn Spencer!" Margaret shrieked. "Chad! Oh my god! I loved your character!" She turned toward Harry. "Harry, he was a great actor."

 

"And I know all the lines," Shawn offered.

 

Harry sighed and looked from Margaret to Shawn and back. "You know? Why the fuck not. We don't have a better replacement. And Jo's right, the show must go on."

 

Joe stared glumly at the floor. "Charles would want it. I mean, he was basically the assistant director. He put his heart and soul into the show-- oh I can't anymore!" He started crying again, and Harry put his arms around the man.

  
Shawn saw Lassiter fiddling with something in the dressing room. "You know, I have a great guy to play Amos."


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lassiter and Shawn start their careers as actors, and Shawn has a clever way of telling Lassiter who the murderer is.

"I can't believe you roped me into this," Lassiter growled. Shawn, using Lassiter's love of undercover work, convinced him to play Amos, all while questioning the suspects. "How'd you even know I could sing?"

 

"I'm psychic. Remember?" Shawn has actually let himself into Lassiter's apartment one day, and heard him warbling "Do I Wanna Know?" in the shower.

 

"I don't think I can even remember all the words in, what? A couple days?" Lassiter sighed. Harry had actually forced Lassiter to read some of the lines and deemed him "ok" for the part. So Lassiter had crammed for the rehearsal the day after the murder, and the play would actually begin showing the next week.

 

"So, did you have any trouble remembering the lines?" Shawn asked as if reading his mind. Lassiter suddenly blanched. If Shawn was psychic (which he wasn't) then he had seen all of Lassiter's thoughts -- fantasies -- about him. "Lassie-bear!" Shawn brought him back to reality.

 

"What? Oh. A little. Did you?"

 

"Nah."

 

"Really?" Lassiter asked in surprise. "How?"

 

Shawn decided to tell him the truth. "The first time I saw Chicago I was twelve. And I watched it, like, five times in a row, and I watch it all the time it's my favorite movie/musical. Well, one of my favorites. I still think Pretty in Pink takes the cake. Anyway, I basically memorized the entire script." Shawn shrugged. "It probably has something to do with my psychic abilities you know?"

 

Lassiter snorted. "Yeah right."

 

"Oh, and before the others get here, Harry has a motive for murder. Charles was going to usurp him as director. Like, the owners of the theatre were thinking of replacing him with Charles." Lassiter opened his mouth to ask how Shawn knew that ("I'm psychic," he would've answered "I swiped the letter telling him this from Charles's apartment" would've been the truth) but at that moment Harry, Margaret, Joanna, and Joe came in, chattering.

 

"Oh, hey guys!" Joe waved, beaming. "Harry says that we're gonna work with you on your lines and stuff."

 

"He seems awfully cheery for someone whose boyfriend's dead," Lassiter muttered and got a sharp jab from Shawn.

 

"Yeah, Shawn, I just want you to sing the razzle dazzle song, since I haven't actually heard you sing yet."

 

"Sure!" Shawn jumped up and sauntered to the middle of the stage. As he began to sing, it struck Lassiter how well the song fit him. "Give 'em the old razzle dazzle," was certainly something that Shawn did. A lot. Lassiter shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about Shawn, or he feared that his shell of heterosexuality would break. Stupid straight Shawn and his womanizing personality. To distract himself from the fake psychic, he went over the questionings he had given the four suspects. Everyone didn't have alibis, since the murder was during intermission, and everyone had been doing their own thing. Margaret had been in the catwalks, Joe in the closet, Joanna spent the entire ten minute intermission in the bathroom, and Harry had been fixing his binder in the other bathroom. All the questioning had been pretty useless anyway, since everyone was in tears and mumbling about how "Charles was the best boyfriend," how he "wouldn't hurt a fly," and "Ima find 'oever did it, and ima strangle them -- metaphorically." Lassiter sighed. This was going to be a hard case to crack.

 

"Lassie-fras!" Shawn snapped his fingers in front of the detective's face and he jumped.

 

"What?" He grunted.

 

"You've been staring at me for a few minutes," Shawn laughed. "It's starting to get weird. And a little gay." He winked. "Unless you were going for tha-- oof." Lassiter shoved him lightly and growled.

 

The rest of the rehearsal went well, and Lassiter only forgot a few lines. As he and Shawn (who had forced him to give him a ride, stating that Gus was on a date) were leaving, Joe approached him nervously.

 

"Hey, Carlton?" He licked his lips nervously. "I kind of, err, left out a little bit of info from yesterday? I was really distraught."

 

"Can you give it to me now?" Lassiter withdrew a notepad.

 

"Well, ya know how Charles's nose was broken? That was Margaret."

 

"Margaret?" Shawn raised his eyebrows. "She's tiny! She's like, half his size!"

 

Joe snorted. "Yeah, well, she packs a punch, literally. I heard them arguing, and she broke his nose during the argument. It was a week ago. I'm not sure why they were arguing 'cause they wouldn't tell me. But Margie would never murder anyone. At least, not physically." He furrowed his brow and licked his lips. "You know, I gotta go--"

 

"Joe." Shawn grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer. "Joe, you can tell us anything. I know you're holding something back, you can spill." He smiled charmingly and Joe relaxed.

 

"Well, I shouldn't speak ill of the dead. Especially not Charles, but I was going to break up with him. Like, after yesterday's performance I was going to break up with him. He was cheating on me with Margaret, and I caught them. I also told Jo. I guess this gives both me and Jo motive for murder." He pursed his lips and looked down, eyes filling with tears.

 

"No, c'mon! Don't cry Joe! We know you didn't do it." Shawn rubbed his hand. "Why don't you set up a party with Jo and Margie and Harry? To cheer yourselves up?"

 

"That's a good idea." Joe sniffles and nodded. Shawn smiled and kissed his cheek, startling Lassiter. Joe blushed and scampered away.  

 

"I know whodunit." Shawn straightened up.

 

"Woah, woah, woah, you're not going to explain that?" He gestured at Joe.

 

"Uh, no? Why should I?" Shawn furrowed his brow. "What should I explain?"

 

"Um, you kissed a dude?"

 

"I pecked a distraught dude's cheek. That's not a kiss. This is a kiss." Shawn grabbed Lassiter's face and pressed their lips together. They stood there, holding the kiss for what seemed like both a millisecond and eternity to Lassiter before breaking apart. "Ok, I'm going to go apprehend the murderer, bye!" Shawn grinned, waved, and ran out of the building. Lassiter was going to call back, but realized their was a piece of paper crumpled in his mouth. He gingerly took it out and unfolded it.

 

"It's Jo. She has a gun in her boots, and could hear us. She's going to shoot Marg next. Pretending to arrest Marg. Go get Jo, but BE CAREFUL!

 

P.S. If ur wondering when I wrote this, I held the kiss for 29 seconds."

 

Lassiter raised his eyebrows. On one hand, he was proud of Shawn for solving the murder. On the other he was severely disappointed that it wasn't a real kiss. It felt pretty real. Shit. He kissed Shawn. Shit. He started referring to Sh-- Spencer as Shawn. He shook his head. Earth-shattering revelation later, arresting murderer now.

 

"Jo!" Lassiter grinned and slapped her back. Now that Shawn mentioned it, he could see the handle of the gun in her boot.

 

Joanna jumped. "Yeah, what up, Carlton?"

  
"I was wondering if you've ever been to jail?" Joanna blanched, and pulled herself away just as Lassiter pulled the gun out of her boot and pointed it at her. "Joanna Lee, you are under arrest for the murder of Charles Lawrenson." 


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The explanation is given and the gayness thickens.

"Shawn how'd you know it was Joanna?" Lassiter and Shawn rode in his car, with Joanna riding in the back, handcuffed and yelling.

 

"Margaret's argument with Charles was about costume design in Chicago, but she just has a really short temper. Hehe. Short. Anyway, Joanna here got jealous because Margaret was cheating on her, so she shot Joe. She actually timed it pretty well, shooting him just at the loud dinging to signal the end of intermission, so that no one could hear. To ensure that Charles would be in there, she placed his hat in the dressing room and reminded him about it at the right moment. Pretty crafty." Shawn flashed a smile. Lassiter would've asked about the kiss, but he was terrible at touchy talks about feelings and it didn't seem right to do it with a murderer in the back of the car. Also they were just a few minutes away from the police department. So he decided that he would spend the rest of the car ride in silence and just try to pretend it never happened.

 

They arrived at the police department, everyone applauded them and Shawn called up Gus and Juliet, who came back slightly peeved about their interrupted date.

 

The first thing that Juliet noticed was that Lassiter kept stealing furtive glances at Shawn, while at the same time trying to stay at the other side of the room. Could something have happened?

 

"Hey, Gus," Juliet whispered and grasped his hand.

 

"What is it?"

 

"I know Shawn is pretty queer, but do you think he has a crush on Lassiter?"

 

Gus snorted and laughed, then grew serious. "You think so?"

 

"Yeah. Am I wrong?"

 

"Pfft, Shawn’s head over heels. He hasn't said anything, but he keeps on telling me ideas for a romantic TV show where the main character is a 'tall, lanky dude with the prettiest blue eyes!'"

 

Juliet giggled at Gus's impersonation of Shawn. "I love you." She kissed his cheek.

 

"Hey, Gus, let's go and cash this check!" Shawn flapped it in front of his best friend's face.

 

"Bye, honey!" Gus kissed Juliet back, and they got into the Blueberry.

 

"'Honey,' really?" Shawn rolled his eyes.

 

"Hey, Shawn, this is probably a weird question, but... Do you have a crush on Lassiter?"

 

Shawn gasped and sunk lower on his seat. "Oh my gosh! You noticed! Finally! Isn't he the best? I could just dive into his eyes! I actually kissed him today. For 29 seconds. Two-nine. I counted. I used the time to write a note telling him that Jo was the killer then I put it in his mouth and he didn't even notice it at first. I can't believe he doesn't realize I like him! I've been trying to make it super obvious, but he's just so oblivious." Shawn went on in this vein for the entirety of the car ride back to the office. Gus let him, because he knew that when Shawn realized that Lassiter was the straightest man in existence, he would be crushed and there would be a serious amount of ice cream eating and movie watching. So he let him have his moment. Or, well, moments.

 

The next few days were spent rehearsing at the theatre. Amy came back, satisfied now that the killer was caught, and agreed to play Velma Kelly. Margaret was worried and freaked out that her ex-girlfriend was a murderer, but she continued with the production. By opening night, everyone was ready for their parts, even Lassiter.

 

"You better get us some tickets," Gus said, talking about himself and Juliet. "And they better be good tickets. Considering you got us tangled up with that murder investigation last time."

 

"Yeah, yeah." Shawn rolled his eyes and grinned. So that night, Gus and Juliet sat in the audience as Amy went onto the stage. It seemed as if even a murder couldn't keep the audience away. In fact, it looked like there were even more people, and even a reporter from The Courier.

 

"Oh god," Lassiter mumbled as he looked through the curtain.

 

"Don't worry!" Shawn punched Lassiter's shoulder. "You'll be fine." And he was. He and Shawn played their parts well, especially considering they both only had a few days of practice. By intermission, though, Lassiter let out a huge sigh of relief.

 

"That was... Slightly difficult," he admitted.

 

"Hey, let's talk about the kiss," Shawn blurted out.

 

"What?" Lassiter raised his eyebrows.

 

"Let's. Talk. About. The kiss." This time Shawn was more sure of himself. He had planned on doing this later, but he guessed now was the best time for it.

 

"Oh. I get that it was just to make sure Joanna didn't know that you suspected her." Lassiter smiled coldly. "Although you are a good kisser I give the ladies that."

 

"Lassie-fras," Shawn laughed nervously, "I did it because I've got a huge crush on you, and Gus says you're super straight but when I kissed you there was something here." He waved his arms between the two of them.

 

Lassiter wanted to believe Shawn. He wanted to just grab Shawn and kiss him right there and never let go. But he knew that Shawn was just pulling his leg. Shawn liked women, and would do anything to screw with Lassiter, knowing somehow that Lassiter liked him. And he said as much.

 

"Shawn, you're shitting me. I know you like women. Just because I kissed you back doesn't mean I like you, I just... Haven't kissed anyone. In a while." Lassiter snorted.

 

"Lassie!" Shawn moved closer and grabbed his hands. "I'm not kidding."

 

Lassiter wrenched himself away. "I'm not stupid, Shawn." He stormed away angrily, not liking his emotions toyed with. And Shawn didn't follow him.

 

At the end of the night, Shawn and Lassiter were supposed to go out, link arms, and bow together, being the two men of the show. Shawn decided that it wasn't going to go exactly like that. The lights shone down, and the audience clapped, and as they straightened up Shawn grabbed Lassiter by the waist and drew him into a long kiss, nearly swooping him down as if they were doing the tango. Everyone laughed and cheered louder, but Lassiter couldn't hear them. His heart thudded in his ears, and his face felt as if someone had dropped a hot towel on it.

 

"Do you believe me now?" Shawn whispered as they went back to their spots. Lassiter could only nod and give out a low whine in response.

 

 


	6. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sort of peaceful resolution.

"Lassiter, you're not going to like this." Juliet approached his desk tentatively the day after the play. Lassiter was happier than he had been since he had once bought a pack of bullets and got two for free. He and Shawn had set a date at a restaurant for the next day, right after they did Chicago again, since it was playing for another week. And no one at the station had to know, since the only people affiliated with the SBPD who had seen their impromptu kiss were Gus and Juliet.

 

"O'hara, I don't think anything could bring me down right now." Lassiter grinned and put his chin in his hands. Juliet grinned nervously and placed a newspaper on his desk.

 

"I wanted you to see this before someone else showed you." Lassiter's smile was wiped off his face when he saw the front page of The Courier.

 

"Detective Dipstick Now Detective Lipstick?" Was the headline, and, below it, was a picture of Shawn swooping him into the kiss.

 

Lassiter was speechless and fuming, and he gaped like a fish. Finally, he kept his mouth open long enough to say, "That's a terrible pun and also a stereotype."

 

"Ok, Carlton, don't freak out." Juliet put her hands on Lassiter's shoulder reassuringly. "Not many people read The Courier anyway. Not since the Detective Dipstick scandal."

 

"Carlton fucking Lassiter!" A loud bellow echoed through the police department. Lassiter, recognizing it to be Henry, dived under his desk. "Juliet!" He exclaimed. "Have you seen 'Detective Lipstick?' Or my son for that matter."

 

"Sir, please calm down--"

 

"No, I will not calm the fuck down," Henry fumed. "Pardon my French, but I find a picture of my son not only kissing a dude on the front page of The Courier, but this person is Carlton Lassiter?" By now everyone in the room had had their attention drawn to the angry man shouting in the middle of the department.

 

"Shh! Henry!" Juliet tried to get him to be quiet, and Lassiter let out a stream of silent curses from under the table.

 

"What?" McNab chimed in and laughed. "Shawn and Lassiter are probably the straightest dudes I know -- oh." Henry placed The Courier right in front of him and Lassiter winced from his hiding spot. McNab chewed his lip and then shrugged. "Well, I'm sorta surprised, but good for them!" He beamed.

 

Henry ripped the newspaper from the table. "No! Not good for them! Shawn is a commitment-phobe, and Lassiter is a fucking train wreck!"

 

"Now you listen here!" Lassiter couldn't take it anymore and leapt up from his niche.

 

"Oh, so you were hiding! I'm surprised you didn't find a convenient closet to hide in!" Henry surged forward but was held back.

 

"Dad! Calm down!" Shawn had just entered to find his dad and his boyfriend getting into a fistfight, and he didn't even know over what. At least, until he saw the paper angrily clenched in his father's hands. "I was going to tell you that I'm queer, but I knew you would lose your shit," Shawn sighed.

 

"I'm not 'losing my shit'!" Henry shouted. "I am reacting as a normal father would when he finds out his only son is a fucking fag--" Lassiter slugged Henry in the face.

 

"Don't you dare," Lassiter growled.

 

"Oh, you wanna go?" Henry put up his fists.

 

"What the hell is going on here?" Chief Vick stepped out of her office. "Lassiter! Shawn! In my office! Now!" She sighed and walked back inside, wondering for the billionth time why her job was so odd.

 

Shawn and Lassiter widened their eyes and tentatively stepped inside the office.

 

"Look, boys, I'm not your mother, I'm not your school counselor, and I'm sure as hell not your therapist. I deal with a baby at home, I don't want to have to deal with a bunch of babies at work. So. Are you two together?"

 

"Yes," they answered in unison.

 

"Will it affect your work?"

 

"No, ma'am!"

 

"Then," she leaned forward, "do I look like I care? Get out of my office and tell Henry that if he says that word again I will fire him immediately and he will also be staying in the cells overnight." She said the last part loudly so that Henry could hear her threat from his position outside the doors. Lassiter and Shawn stood, mouths agape. "What are you waiting for? Go!" She shooed them out and took an Advil.

 

"Well." Shawn crossed his arms and stood in front if his dad, who was wiping some blood from his mouth.

 

"Look, Shawn," he sighed. "I'm sorry for calling you that, but I was just mad. You couldn't tell me? And I want the best for you! I don't think dating Lassiter is the best." Henry put a hand on his son's shoulder, but Shawn angrily shrugged it off.

 

"Who I date is none of your business." Shawn turned toward Lassiter and pecked him on the lips. "Date still on for tomorrow?"

 

"Can we move it to today?" Lassiter asked breathlessly.

 

"Yeah. Bye Lassie-bear!" Shawn stalked out of the office, dragging Gus away from Juliet's desk.

 

"Shawn," Gus whined.

 

"No, Gus. We really gotta run, like now." Shawn saw Henry standing helplessly in the middle of the department. "When my dad comes to his senses he's coming after me, so I need your car time to drive to Canada."

 

"Shawn, why don't we just get smoothies?"

  
"Yeah, or that."

**Author's Note:**

> Helpful Criticism is always appreciated!  
> 


End file.
